[IC] Appointments

[ura_no_ura]

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[ura_no_ura]

[ The mask is a necessary barrier between Kakashi and the rest of the world. What he holds inside himself and buries, what he rarely reveals. He keeps himself tightly bound, locked up. Rarely ever showing his face, if only because he doesn't want to be figured out. Doesn't want anyone to know how easy it is to see him for what he really is, read him the way one would read a book, or realize how easily emotion takes on a life of its own on his face. And that's always been the problem, isn't it.

He feels too much, when he shouldn't feel at all.

It's why he usually only ever shows his face when he thinks he's in complete control. When he thinks he has nothing to hide, or when he just doesn't give a fuck enough to care. Or when he trusts someone completely, enough to put his life in their hands. Enough to let them hold him down and fuck him with a hand around the throat that could crush or caress or simply hold.

He doesn't have to be in control of this, in control of himself, to know he can trust the hand that holds him now. To know that he can show Erwin what he hides under his mask and not feel vulnerable, or too exposed. And that's really what this comes down to, isn't it. How exposed he will feel by this. How much he thinks Erwin will see without a mask to cover his face.

He thinks he might just let Erwin pull his mask down if he tries, because he knows what comes after -- hard, devouring kisses, intended to consume the other. And maybe Erwin will be so distracted by the kissing that he won't even have time to really study what he reads on Kakashi's face, which is what Kakashi always told himself when he brought home comrades, partners he could trust to do to him what Erwin is doing right now.

Through the roar of his pulse thudding in his ears, and the surge of pleasure from Erwin's knee encouraging him to rut (and he does, undulating his hips with purpose, grinding the growing bulge at the front of his pants against the hard surface, all the while breathing heavily, audibly through his mask), Kakashi realizes belatedly that Erwin'd freed one of his hands and is caressing the side of his face, right where the edge of his mask begins. Realizes that his mouth is shaping words, and those words are requesting permission. It occurs to Kakashi then that it matters to Erwin that this is his choice, not Erwin's. And just like that, any reservation or doubt he might have had about pulling down his mask evaporates.

He brings his free hand up to mold over Erwin's, and wordlessly, curls both their fingers into the edge of his mask and peels it down.

He never much considered himself to be particularly spectacular or attractive, especially when he boasts a nose that's a little crooked from all the times he's had it broken and didn't bother to get it properly healed; when a scar splits his left eye (which is still hidden under his hitai-ate), and another cuts across the left corner of his mouth, which isn't too full or too thin -- simply average; when tinier scars criss-cross over his jaw and throat. It's not a perfect face, and he isn't even clean-shaven -- he rarely ever is, as the mask chafes over freshly shaved skin. Nothing too impressive, and nothing to be embarrassed by.

But even still, he hopes Erwin at least likes what he sees, or finds it acceptable. ]

[corps]

[ It occurs to him a moment after he speaks that perhaps he is pressing down too hard on Kakashi's throat for him to answer properly--but his response is wordless, and everything about the way Kakshi's fingers curl around his, guide his hand to pull away his mask, is incredibly intimate. Erwin's breath is shallow too, though not from any physical obstruction.

When Kakashi's face is bared, Erwin takes a long few moments to simply look at him, absorbing the features he normally hides from the world. The scars stand out most, of course, draw his eye immediately. His thumb rests against the one at the corner of his lips, but that only serves to draw his eye to Kakashi's lips themselves, and the notes the curve of them, how they part as he draws breath as well as he can with Erwin still restricting him. Erwin's thumb slides over them, pressing down on the lower one until it gives enough that the pad of his thumb slides between, meets a row of teeth before it can go any further.

Are the scars the largest reason he hides his face, or is it simply for the sake of secrecy, for concealing his expressions? Now is not the time, nor the place to ask.

His thumb draws out of Kakashi's mouth and swipes, slightly wet, over his cheek, catching on the stubble there. By contrast, Erwin is impeccably clean-shaven most days, but he doesn't mind in the least. He traces up past Kakshi's eye and over the line of his brow before pushing up further, fingers threading into silvery hair gently at first, innocuously, before tightening, forcing his head to tilt back further. Only then does Erwin's grip on his throat ease and then release entirely, that hand bracing on the ground beside Kakashi's head, making way for Erwin to lean down and lay slow, wet kisses where his hand had been a moment ago, and like this they are parallel, very nearly chest to chest, and Erwin's mouth has worked its way up beneath Kakashi's chin, along his jaw, tongue tracing over the shell of his ear before his teeth sink into the lobe briefly. And still his hand in Kakashi's hair is iron-firm, keeping his head just where he wants it.

When he finally kisses his lips, it isn't desperate or hungry, but controlled and demanding, authoritative. Their teeth click together briefly before Erwin's tongue pushes into Kakashi's mouth, and his fingers in his hair somehow wind tighter. It's all strategic, the way Erwin's tongue traces along his palate again and again, enough to drive Kakashi to desperation before he grants him a full, deep kiss. ]