はたけ・カカシ 「HATAKE KAKASHI」 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ura_no_ura) wrote2012-04-01 04:09 am
ura_no_ura) wrote2012-04-01 04:09 am
[IC] Appointments
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no subject
A couple days ago. Dad left, and then the next day Mom wasn't here either.
[Though. He looks back up at the journal, almost hopeful.] Kakashi-sensei, you know when I was gone before, what was it like? Did you know I'd come back? 'Cause they're both gone, but it's different. I don't feel my Dad here at all, and he's not on the journals anymore or anything, but it's different with my Mom.
no subject
He sighs and flips back to Naruto's post. ]
When you were gone, I knew you'd be back, because I had faith in you. And because I saw that your journal was still active.
[ There's a pause of breath here as Kakashi steels himself for what he has to say next. ]
Your mother most likely is on a mission or has been taken by the Malnosso, which is why you can proabably still sense her. But your father... appears to have left Luceti.
[ He doesn't say "gone home," because there's no home for Minato to return to. Or anywhere else. ]
no subject
He focuses on Kushina for now.]
She's not on a mission. She wouldn't have gone without saying anything, especially not right after Dad left.
[As for Minato though...]
Dad's definitely gone, though.
1/2
There's a quiet numbness that slowly edges in like rolling fog, carving out the ache inside his chest in an emptiness so full it's all he can feel. The silence that he's carried around inside him for so many long years.
It had been a blessing that he'd had the chance to spend any time with Minato at all, even if he still doesn't think he really deserved it, and had spent every moment that Minato was here trying to make him proud. Trying to find a way to make up for all the foolish ways he had failed them all -- so many failures Kakashi sometimes wonders if it's all he's ever capable of. He had thought if he had tried hard enough, if he worked hard enough, put together something that could protect people instead of hurt, it would somehow make up for his lack.
And for a little while, seeing the light in Minato's eyes and being told good job and I'm proud of you helped the memory of the ache that was Minato's loss, and the fear that Minato would disappear anytime, fade a little more. Each day he woke up and caught glimpses of Minato and Kushina and Naruto, happy and healthy and alive, he let himself believe that maybe this miracle would continue to go on, that they could have lives here and never, ever die because such a thing is impossible in this world.
How foolish he was to have allowed himself to believe for even a moment that such a thing was actually possible.
But then, that's what he's always been, hasn't he.
Foolish.
He doesn't even have the right to mourn, to waste time on the ache inside of him, to contemplate the largeness of the space Minato left behind once more. Not when Naruto needs him right now, when Naruto is mourning alone, when both his parents had been taken from him -- his father from this world, and his mother from his side -- it isn't fair, isn't right for him to dwell. Isn't right for him to be anything other than what Naruto needs him to be right now -- his sensei. His comrade. His friend.
And maybe Kakashi likes to believe he doesn't really have friends if only because maintaining that illusion makes it easier when they inevitably make their way into boxes carved out of pine, but he has no such illusion about what Naruto, what Team 7 means to him -- and how much he's failed them all. How little he's actually been there for Naruto.
He hadn't even really been there to comfort him after Jiraiya died. More or less offered some empty platitudes, a quiet look, a gentle squeeze of the hand. Hadn't known exactly how to be there for him.
He's still not sure if he knows what he's even doing, but at least he'll try. ]
You're home right now, right?
[ Judging by the background in Naruto's image, he most certainly is, so it's more of a rhetorical question. ]
Don't go anywhere. I'll be there soon.
action from here on out
(Shouldn't have gone on that mission.)
He stops by the convenience store before he heads over, surveying the items quickly before deciding on something sweet and easy to digest -- lemon-lime popsicles.
Somehow, he gets the feeling that Naruto probably wouldn't be up for ramen at the moment.
It only takes him a few more minutes after retrieving the snack that he ends up at the front door of Naruto's house. Strange to think of it as Naruto's house when all this time, Kakashi had thought of it as Minato's.
He stares at the number on the door, then raises a hand and knocks once, twice. ]
no subject
[Once a knock appears at the door it doesn't take long for him to answer- the shuffling of feet heard on the hardened floor before the door clicks open, revealing a pretty solemn Naruto.
The first day had been spent trying to track them down. The few days after that he had around the village or inviting people over to the house, anything to keep busy instead of dwelling on the fact that both parents weren't here, but today it was just quiet. Empty. And it shows in his expression, even as he tries to mask it with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.]
Hey, Kakashi-sensei.
[Immediately backing away to let the other ninja in, he leans against the wall.]
What happened on your mission this time? [It was probably easier to talk about that, right?]
no subject
Naruto's doing that thing where he's trying to be brave, to cover up the hurt with a smile which isn't that unlike the way Kakashi covers his face with his mask. But it doesn't reach his eyes, which are storm cloud dark and hollow, all the light pulled right out of them.
It's a look Kakashi's seen before on him, after Jiraiya.
He gives Naruto a rather impassive look, his usual indifferent once-over, as he steps into the house and toes off his shoes. ]
Mm, more or less the same thing that happened last time.
[ Vague as usual.
Kakashi holds up the popsicle and hands it to Naruto. ]
Here, I thought you might like this.
no subject
[He holds out a hand with a clueless look, taking the gift- which turns out to be a popsicle. He stares at it for a second and then back up at Kakashi. It reminded him of Jiraiya in a way, mostly because of the number of times they had shared the treat after training sessions when they had been out of the village.
It causes him to smile again, but this one, albeit smaller, is more truthful.]
Heh, thanks Kakashi-sensei.
[He wastes no time in opening it, splitting the popsicle in two and hoilding out one half to his sensei.]
no subject
Keep it. I'm not really a fan of sweets. Besides, you can probably use it more than me right now.
[ Said as his eye arcs, curving perfectly.
It's strange to be in this big, empty house without Minato and Kushina. He knows what that's like -- to be in a house far too large, far too empty. It can be unbearable. ]
no subject
[It isn't quite the same when you don't have someone to take the other half, and somewhere in the back of his mind perhaps he was dwelling on the thought that if Kakashi took it he'd have to remove that mask to eat it, but he still appreciates the gesture.]
Fine, I guess you're gonna miss out then. [He says as he sticks one half in his mouth, holding on to the other.]
[For a moment he just stands there, silent aside from the sounds of a popsicle in his mouth.]
It isn't fair, this place. If they were gonna send someone back, it should've been me.
[He had to go back at some point, he knew this. There was still a lot of things Naruto needed to do. But it was different for his parents, they had died. This place was the only chance they had to live again.]
no subject
He has to be strong for Naruto, though. Has to be strong for them both, so he does what he does best.
He smiles.
Lets his eye curl up as he reaches a hand out and gently gives Naruto's shoulder a squeeze. ]
Don't worry, Naruto. He'll be back soon.
[ Lies right between his teeth.
He doesn't know if Minato will ever return -- Gai certainly didn't, and neither did Iruka or Anko or Asuma. For all he knows, Minato might be gone for good, or at least for a very long time. But at least, as long as Naruto has hope, that's what counts. ]
Do you really think he would just leave you and your mother here all alone? I'm sure he'll find a way back somehow.
[ He's not sure how much he's saying this because he needs to hear it too, and how much he actually believes. ]
no subject
[But this place. The people that run it, who seem to control who shows up and who leaves. That is something entirely different.]
[Even though he doesn't necessarily believe it... he needs to hear it.]
D'you really think he'll be back soon?