[IC] Appointments

[ura_no_ura]

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[ura_no_ura]

[ About twenty seconds pass.

The door opens again, and this time Kakashi's holding a mop in one hand and a garbage can in the other, which he shoves in the path of Iruka's general path of... projection.

This time he's not going to do anything nice like pat Iruka's back as he did the first time.

Iruka did this to himself, after all. ]

[dolphinsensei]

[It doesn't take long to get rid of the brief wave of nausea and even before Kakashi is probably done mopping or something, Iruka is already straightening with his bag in hand.]

Ah. Much better...

[And he does feel much better, clear headed even. Iruka takes a look at the door and blinks. Whether or not he notices the number correctly this time, it doesn't show. instead, he is reaching for the mop and pulling the bin aside.]

Give me that.

[ura_no_ura]

I don't think that's such a good idea, Iruka. [ Just Iruka, no "sensei" this time. ] Maybe we should get you back to your apartment, hmm?

[ And preferably, situated in front of the toilet. ]

[dolphinsensei]

If I do what you say, you'll leave me alone?

[Iruka sounds dead serious.]

Won't mother me around and all?

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi just arcs an eyebrow pointedly at Iruka, very tempted to just shove the mop in his face and go back into his apartment. Really, he probably should, just to teach him a lesson. But picking on someone who's clearly plastered and who probably won't even remember it is really not Kakashi's idea of fun.

Neither is cleaning up a puddle of puke in front of his door. ]

Well, your door is that way, if you want to get going.

[ Points in the direction, and gets right back to mopping up the mess at his door. ]

[dolphinsensei]

[It does occur to Iruka that maybe it's some sort of deception, a way for Kakashi to further steal his home from him. It does not occur to Iruka how irrational his thoughts are being. Doesn't even notice.]

You may keep my lodgings to yourself.

[If Kakashi wants it that bad, by all means. Iruka simply pulls a bottle out of the bag, opens it and takes a sip. All this while he turns towards the direction Kakashi had pointed previously.]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Seriously, this is starting to become rather ridiculous. Kakashi lets out a slow, controlled exhale through his nose as he contemplates just letting Iruka have his way with alcohol, but that would certainly not be very responsible of him, nor would it be the right thing to do. So he sets the broom aside and reaches out to grab Iruka's shoulder, turning him back to face him. ]

Iruka.

[ Says it to just get the man's attention, as he steals the second bottle from Iruka (how many bottles did he even buy?) as well as the bag. ]

You're cut off for the night.

[dolphinsensei]

[It takes a good minute for Iruka to digest that.]

You know, if you want some, we can share. That's fine. But we are not that close for you to boss me around at a personal level.

[ura_no_ura]

I am your superior, though, whether you like it or not. And I'm not about to allow you to drink yourself to death because you feel guilty about something outside of your control.

[ Kakashi doesn't actually know if Iruka will completely be able to understand this, but he'll say it anyway, since it's worth saying. ]

[dolphinsensei]

Oh good! Maybe then I'll be able to go home. Why don't we experiment? See what killing yourself does to you?

[Iruka will have none of that.]

Hand them back, Kakashi. Let's not make a mess of things, now.

[ura_no_ura]

Go back to your apartment, Iruka.

[ Kakashi says flatly, sliding the open bottle back into the bag. ]

[dolphinsensei]

No.

[Iruka reaches for the bag. To grab it back.]

Come on, hand it over!

[He is getting really frustrated too.]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi's really had enough of this. He jerks the bag back so Iruka can't grab it, takes a step back, then turns, slips back into his apartment, and closes the door.

Hear that, Iruka?

That's the sound of the lock clicking. ]

[dolphinsensei]

[Iruka actulally yells. In frustration. He even gives the door a good nice kick.]

Fine, asshole! Alcohol thief! Cheapskate! Keep it!

[Iruka spins abruptly and huffs, making his way towards the stairwell. I'll just get more myself! Which Iruka proceeds to just do, making his way down the stairs because that's how he had come up and in his drunken mind, that is how he should be going down.

Except half way down the first set of stairs, Iruka misses his step and tumbles down with a sad and pathetic "umph!"

In all fairness though, Iruka does think he is walking very, very straight and in a civilised manner. But that's what alcohol does to you, though. Makes you think things are okay, when they really are not.

This is not his night. Not his night at all. So much so, Iruka just starts laughing. To the point of breathlessness and tears, too.]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi thought he was well past caring, and had just about to begin setting to the task of putting the alcohol away and getting more cleaning supplies from the kitchen anyway, to clean up the rest of the gunk in the hallway.

He was entirely ready to just ignore the moron outside, figuring that Iruka would eventually find his way back into his own apartment. But no sooner did he turn and take two steps, did he hear the door to the stairwell open, and before he had a chance to yank his door open and grab Iruka before he took a step into the hallway, the sound of sequential thumps echoed from the hall just as Kakashi opened his door.

For a moment, he was about to worry that Iruka had actually hurt himself, but then he heard it -- the laughter.

What a drunk fool.

Kakashi sighs a withered sound, carefully steps over the stained spot in his hallway, then pushes open the door to the stairs and just looks down at Iruka from the top of the landing. It seems that Iruka had only fallen about five steps-- not too bad, but even still, there's something of a scratch on the chuunin's forehead, and he's probably a bit banged up. ]

I believe your apartment is in the other direction, sensei.

[ Kakashi says very flatly, then heads down the stairs, bends down, and starts to help Iruka up, hand curling around his arm to pull him up. ]

[dolphinsensei]

Oh, Kakashi, what a situation we have gotten ourselves into!

[Iruka says this in between breaths of laughter. The babble comes out like a steady stream, as his limbs cooperate somewhat with Kakashi's almost man handling.]

What a situation! It's kind of hilarious don't you think? Here we are, in a lovely place, fairly peaceful, if you think about it, not too shabby. Far away from home, from the war, the deaths, the funerals we might live to see or be a part of, everything! All that shit! And here, you can live. Actually live a peaceful life with family! Family!

I don't care what holier than thou camaraderie words or will of fire you're going spew at me, it is not fair! Have you seen Naruto? That boy! That boy has a family here! And that is completely unfair because it isn't real, one day he will go back, and they are dead. Fucking dead.

There is no place for the dead amongst the living! It's unfair! It's unfair for Naruto! For everyone whose dead family is here! Even Sasuke! His mother is fucking, here, damnit!

[Somewhere in there, Iruka's voice might have reached a higher pitch.]

The worst part is, you want to stay and that is bad! Bad, bad, bad! I'm a bad man! Bad, bad man!

[Iruka repeats bad, bad man one more time then starts laughing.]

A bad, bad man~!

[ura_no_ura]

[ Of course.

Of course Iruka would go and say out loud what no one ever dares to say at all. Iruka's just that kind of man, isn't he. The kind that opens his mouth and says regrettable things without thinking about it before he does. Speaking it aloud makes it hard to deny what everyone thinks but no one ever talks about. What everyone knows but tries not to think about when you see them smiling together and your sensei is alive and you want so badly to hold onto what you shouldn't be able to hold in your hands when it's been seventeen years dead and buried underground. When you've spent more than half your life trying to keep a part of him alive, and failing miserably because you could never hope to be a fraction the sensei that he was. It's easier to pretend this travesty of a reality they're trapped in is somehow not as bad as it really is if you cover it up in a coat of bright paint over its broken surface.

(Don't look beyond the cracks, because what you see will likely break you.)

It's all sunshine above and laughter below, stealing these hidden moments like honey from a bee's nest. Hope you don't get stung in the process, and even if you do, those little bites don't seem so terrible when the reward is so sweet.

Maybe that's how they manage to control you in the end, choking on a mouthful of honey.

(Somehow it doesn't seem so bad, when Kakashi's not even sure if he's even still alive back home. Maybe he's just another ghost amongst ghosts, trying to steal more time from the living.)

Kakashi stares down at Iruka for a moment with one hand tightly wound around the other's bicep, holding him half-hauled up. Then he just yanks him up to a full stand, sliding one arm around Iruka's waist and turning them to face the stairs up. ]

Aa, you're right. It isn't fair.

[ Kakashi says flatly, and then starts to ascend the stairs with Iruka in tow. ]

But life never is, is it.

[ He doesn't actually expect a real answer from a rhetorical like that, but he knows Iruka is raw and emotional and drunk, and will probably say more shit Kakashi probably doesn't exactly want to hear, if only because he doesn't need to be reminded of the truth when it smacks him in the face on a daily basis:

That none of this is really, truly real.

That none of it really matters, in the sense of it affecting their real world. Their real lives.

That they are living in this surreal fantasy, and at any time, it might end, and none of them will remember it having happened at all, and all they fight to keep sacred and meaningful here in this world ultimately means nothing at all. ]

[dolphinsensei]

Sure, sure, that's what life is. It's fucking dandy one moment then bam, once you are happy, they'll just take what you love the most away from you.

[Iruka sighs, and just hangs there beside Kakashi. It's harder to accept reality after you've burried the dead. After you've mourned. Only to have that wound ripped open and for it to begin healing somehow, after you've accepted the fact that yes, maybe, this is real. They take all that away from you and you will have to bury the already dead and mourn once more.]

Well no thank you. I don't want that. I don't want to keep burying the dead. It isn't real, this isn't living.

[Iruka pulls away from Kakashi and straightens himself.]

You know what sucks, though? I actually want to stay. I can grow to like it here. And I hate myself, for that. I'm going to get another drink.

[ura_no_ura]

Drinking yourself into oblivion isn't going to change the fact that you aren't the only one who feels that way.

[ Kakashi drags Iruka bodily up to the top of the stairs and pushes the door open. ]

Besides, we don't need to bury you from alcohol poisoning, hmm? I don't think that would make Naruto very happy, would it.

[ For Naruto, this place is real, and the most amount of living he's ever gotten a chance to do, uninterrupted by war or battle, in quite some time. Every time Kakashi looks at him, at how happy he is to be with his family, with his friends, he's reminded of that fact. Death would be real here, too. Even if the dead inevitably come back to life.

It doesn't make the initial loss any less real. ]

[dolphinsensei]

You can watch me enjoy my bottle until I pass out, if you are so concerned. But you cannot stop me, I will not allow it. I will not stand for it. Deal?

[Iruka is bargaining. He's actually... bargaining. To drink his own booze. While being manhandled. This is ridiculous.]

Then you can make sure Naruto doesn't bury me. Not that he will, I am pretty good at this. Lots of practice!

[ura_no_ura]

I can watch you drink water as you sober up. You're way past your limit.

[ Which that puddle in front of his door indicates.

Kakashi carefully steps past it again and then opens his own door, since it's not exactly tenable to keep an eye on Iruka if he were to just send him home. Keeping an eye on him at his own apartment makes more sense, at least until Iruka passes out or falls asleep. ]

We can either do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way, Iruka-sensei. Your choice.

[ The hard way might or might not involve Sharingan.

Kakashi ushers Iruka inside, and closes the door, making sure to block Iruka's access to the bag on the floor with his body. ]

[dolphinsensei]

Hmmmm, screw you~

[Iruka promptly turns around from the door way, intent on getting to the elevators, which he conveniently remembers actually exists.]

It's my body!

[Perhaps when Iruka is more sober, he'll realize what he has done and spend the rest of his pitiful life in Luceti apologizing.]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Really, dealing with drunk Iruka is like dealing with a twelve year old. Kakashi sighs and grabs Iruka again, whirling him around as he brushes back silver hair slightly obscuring his left eye as he turns his Sharingan on Iruka, shutting his right. ]

I really didn't want to have to do this, but, you need to go to sleep now.

[ Said as he lifts a hand in a seal to activate the jutsu. ]

[dolphinsensei]

[Iruka doesn't even know what him because he only manages a -- ]

H-Hey --!

[-- before he promptly passes out, in the middle of the hallway, in Kakashi's arms and just goes boneless. Maybe it's for the best, that he sleeps off the rabid thoughts running amok in his mind. He's a dead weight in Kakashi's grip. Or rather, whatever grip Kakashi has on him.]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi had fully been prepared that Iruka would be dead weight the moment he used Sharingan on him, and catches him just before his knees go out. It only takes him a moment to adjust himself to shift Iruka onto his back and hoist him up, carrying him back into his apartment, and depositing him on the couch.

He takes the time to remove Iruka's shoes and throws a few towels over him as a protective barrier between vomit particles and the blanket he covers Iruka with after.

Task completed, Kakashi heads off to finish cleaning the mess outside. He ends up tossing both the garbage can and the mop, as well as dirty paper towels, down the incinerator trash chute.

Eventually, he goes to bed.

Iruka will have an especially terrible hangover in the morning, no thanks to the extra hit of Sharingan Kakashi gave him. But really, Kakashi can't be bothered enough to give a shit. ]